Morning

The nIke 1/2 Marathon is coming up on Sunday at 7am and I am number 229. There was an option to add art onto the shirt. Whether it be “Scooter” or “DAD” or “MOM” or “I smoke cigarettes,” I chose to leave my t-shirt blank seeing as I’m gonna take it off at mile 3 anyway, to start working on my tan. I’ll wear SPF 15 from Panama Jack, surrounding myself in the aroma of coconut. All the freaky jogger girls are gonna want to stay near me. So i tell my friends who ask, “how are we gonna find you among 10,000 runners?” I’ll be the one around mile 8 without pants.

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Call me Dad

Has anyone seen the Denzel Wahington movie De Ja Vu? It deals with time warps and alternate realities. Meaning, as I write this blog sitting on my couch in my new gap underwear, there is another person in another pair of underwear Continue reading Call me Dad

Elan Zafir’s misemployment of the run-on sentence