Great things

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Happening to great people.
That’s good. That’s a good thing.
I am happy for those people.
I am also jealous. And feel that perhaps I should have good things happening to me. A friend once described a person me, as teflon. I don’t know what my friend meant. So i looked up teflon. It’s a non-stick pan. But can also be used to refer to someone able to withstand criticism or attack with no apparent effect. I guess that’s good. Why are people criticizing him? I would want my president to be teflon-ish. Though I wouldn’t want people’s feelings and judgements to have NO effect.

My friend meant to say it as a quality that he saw as positive. A quality he wanted for himself.

Where are the artists? Where are the people that move mountains? Where are the people that do things without having to tell someone that they did them?

Quitting facebook is similar to quitting absolutely nothing important. Quitting brushing your teeth from forward to back instead of back to forward. No one really notices. No one really cares. None of it matters. You’re still getting things done.

There are so many people I think of on a daily basis, and I don’t want to be someone who is teflon. I do feel things. Maybe I am too sensitive. I will go over this before it goes to print. I already know what sentences I will erase. I want people to have an effect on me. It’s important.

Sometimes I wish death on other people. Then I feel really bad, and instead wish them a cold. Or, a car accident. Or, a DUI.

I imagine strangling people. I know that’s not cool these days, but I do. And the people are never victims. They are never, “AH!!! I can’t believe this is happening!” They are all fighting tooth and nail to strangle me.

I dream about being mutually strangled by people I respect, and If I’m honest… care for. I never dream about strangling people I don’t care for. I often have sexual dreams about people I don’t care for.

Riding my bicycle is very fun and the other day while I was riding around the United States Department of Agriculture I passed by the Goddard Space Station. Authorized Employees Only the sign said as I passed it. I pedaled another half mile and came to a gate. At the gate there was a checkpoint. At the checkpoint there was a booth. In the booth there was a man.

Can I help you.
I’d like to enter.
Where’s your id.
I’m biking, I didn’t bring it.
You should always have your id.
What goes on in here?
I’m not authorized to tell you.
I’ll tell you what’s going on with me.
I don’t understand.
I’ll tell you what’s going on with me.
Okay.
I’m thinking about waxing my back, and getting a hair cut. I also think the cycling hat I purchased on Amazon makes me seem stupid.
Great.
Can you tell me what goes on here?
Nope.

I want to write a novel. My novel will have a hero. And my hero will lose. He/She will lose, but will be wiser. I like those endings. I like when people lose, but then they’re smarter.

I’m in love with learning. I’m in love with losing.

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