Teacher

People ask me all the time.

“Elan, how do you teach acting?”
“What is the process like for you?”
“How do you do it?”

To them I say… “You need The Elan Method. Starstruck and Wonderlust: a Guide to Lying From the Heart.”

The Elan Method of acting is something I’ve been working on for over 28 years. It’s hard tested, battle proven.

“Elan, I have an audition tomorrow, and I’m really nervous. I want the role so bad! I can’t think. My boyfriend is talking to me, and I’m running lines. Running lines in my head! I can’t concentrate? What do I do?”

Dump his ass. You heard. Break up with your boyfriend. Make it public. Restaurants are good, Starbucks, any Trader
Joe’s. If you can…? Do it at an auto shop, that way the mechanics can stare at your man and really emasculate him.

“But why would I do that? He’s my rock. We’ve been together for years!”

Dumping him will break your heart and make you vulnerable. You won’t be able to think about anything except that, and how your life is now over, and how things will never be the same. And at that audition tomorrow you will use that wave of feeling to propel you from “I want to do a good job!” to “This is me.”
(Also, the makeup sex, I imagine, will be pretty good.)
Next caller?

“Elan, I have this callback tomorrow. It’s a great role in a classic play… but I just got new sides! Should I have them memorized? Really sit and work all day to make sure they’re perfect?”

Paint your house. Don’t think. Don’t pretend. Paint. Your. House. Forget about the callback, sides, character. Painting your house will loosen up your mind and allow you to care about something other than a bunch of words on a page. Be a person. Get to work. Then when you get to the callback today with paint on your sleeve, tired from the day, grease on your pants—maybe you forgot to eat so your shaking slightly… THEN you look at the sides, look up in the air, and tell the truth. “I am a painter. I painted today. I painted a house. I cared for inanimate objects.”

(If those are your actual lines…perfect. If not, just imbue my thoughts onto whatever you’re saying.)

Next?

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