Direction Jamming Both

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I think something is trying to kill me when I open my front door in the morning.
It’s so early when I get up that my senses aren’t a hundred percent, but as I lock the door behind me and turn toward my car, there is this pause of breath. This misstep. As though I’ve just stepped on the brick that will send the boulder rolling in my direction.
I imagine a creature with fangs and scales and lots and lots of fur.
Charging from the trees and making hissing sounds of breath, while grunting in something that resembles language. It’s teeth like titanium diamonds. Jagged and cold.
I know it’s out there. But for the last week there has not been a sighting.
I walk quickly to my car. My carrier-bag slung around my shoulder, my plastic bag of lunch: grapefruit, tangerine, yogurt and granola, homemade peanut butter.
I pushed my automatic door opener today but it didn’t work. I know it works cause the lights go on. When I pushed it this time the lights didn’t go on.
I thought the creature must know how to disturb the electric current that opens my door. Or, it snuck into my apartment, found my keys, and replaced the batteries with Mentos.
This creature is diabolical and it could give a shit what I bake, who I love, or what I hope to accomplish in this life.
I kept pushing my door opener as my eyes darted into the dark forest.
Scanning.
Scanning.
Eyes darting over every piece of tree, branch, weed, fence, grate.
The wind began to “hum.”
I threw my key into the car. Jamming and turning both directions.
Ripping the door open.
Slamming it behind me.
And calmed down.
Till it dawned onto me that it would be right behind me.
In my car, quiet like a battery, opening it’s mouth to it’s widest capacity and having an internal orgasm as it prepared to release the lock jaw on the back of my neck.
Twisting my spine into a pathetic package of purple plums.
I half expected to see my car openers batteries dangling from the rearview mirror.
I started the car and drove off, not giving the woods another look.
I put on classical music.
I play classical music loud. I do it to drown out the thoughts of
Diamond teeth into my forehand;
Dragging me into the forest
Chewing my face,
Cracking my skull with a single chomp.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, or who I’m supposed to tell, but worst of all I don’t know what it’s waiting for.

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