Science

 photo IMG_1836_zps18b94369.jpg
“Well, class. The first thing I’d like to talk about is quantum physics. Some people might think quantum physics exists only in the mind, or can only be appreciated by big corporations: new car, faster plane, self-guided missile. I’m here to tell you first hand that in future everyone will be studying quantum physics. In fact, it will be the only thing people study. So you… my friend in the front row.
“Me?”
“Yes. How many times did you go to the gym today?”
“Once.”
“That a protein shake?”
“Yes.”
“Unfortunately, that will all be a waste of time because it will be the brain. The brain that controls things.”

“(Another student) You my friend.”
“Hi, professor.”
“Be completely honest.”
“Sure.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Define girlfriend because—”
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”
“Define ‘ever’ because—”
“So that’s no.”
“Depends on—”
“And that’s okay. Don’t leave. Don’t — here’s hope, young man. That’s the point I’m trying to make. You will be getting laid…. Later. Much. Much. Much later in life.”
“Because I’m good at quantum physics?”
“In sixty years — you’re going to clean up.”
“That will make me eighty five.”
“Ah. I see. I didn’t know you were that old.”
“Well, I’m in graduate school—”
“So, actually, you might not make the cut. It might be just when you’re about to die.”
“That women suddenly flock to really smart guys that aren’t good in bed—”
“Yes.”
“Or attractive—”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Or, can say interesting things at parties, or have parties, or friends that have parties?”
“Now you’ve got it.”
“I’m going to miss that?”
“You are. But your children won’t.”
“How am I going to get a kid if I can’t put the ‘P’ in the ‘V?'”
“Not the focus I—”
“That’s not a fucking joke.”
“Okay.”
“What’s the point of developing all this technology? All this advanced hardware and integrative software if I’m not going to meet a girl and have friends come to my parties? And get drunk and have sex without condoms?”
“This has taken a turn—”
“Should I just start working out all the time? (to first student) Do you want to be my friend man?”
“Not after all that. No.”
“C’mon, bro. Any parties coming up something like that?”
“I’m not going to invite you.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s