911 emergency. Go ahead.
Hi, this isn’t an emergency. I just wanted to let you know there’s a raccoon outside.
A racoon?
Yes.
This is 911 emergency. Please hang up and call 311 for your local—
It’s a little more urgent than that. He won’t let me out.
Excuse me?
He won’t let me out Continue reading House Arrest
Hi.
Hey.
Pause.
Beautiful day.
It really is.
Not gonna be more of these left.
Gotta get the hiking in while I can.
Definitely.
Pause.
Keen’s?
Hm?
The boots.
Ah. Yes.
Good company.
Are they?
They do a lot for wilderness initiatives — notably in areas with bear population.
That’s great.
No, it really is. A company that spends it’s Continue reading I saw a black bear: Old Rag
It was the girl with the curly hair.
Seems like it’s always her in the morning;
Got a good memory,
She remembers my order completely,
She remembers both of our orders.
When I had the fight Continue reading The Bagel Shop
When you said “I’ll never leave you,” I get that you didn’t mean “never.” Fine. It’s been a week, though… You can’t throw around words like that, and not expect them to have meaning. And it’s a bold thing to say. Who says that anymore? Except when you are in love, and actually mean it, or you just finished a long hike and you’ve revealed some angst filled strain in your DNA that your dad gave you when you were eight. Because that’s when Continue reading straight no chaser: Old Rag
We’re here at 95.9FM, and I’m Angela Murphy coming to you live form the Make up hour. We know you’re hurt. We know he left. We know she’s never coming back. Caller number five, you’re our lucky caller of they day…
Angela?
Cindy, you’re on the air.
Angela, I’ve been listening to your show for seven years now.
Thank you, Cindy.
On my drive home from the bowling alley, just Continue reading Talk Radio
After flashing my park pass to the park ranger — let’s be honest — she turned into a hot mess. My girl was wearing tight black jeans and converse — fuck hiking boots. I sported a forest green vest, and a two tiered fanny pack that carried over two liters of water.
The park rangers name was Stacey. Stacey Tree-Hugger, like a hyphenated name (whatever— mommy and daddy had control issues). She expected me to pay five bucks. Spit out a five sinner for a two axel parking spot at Great Falls? The Continue reading Hike with me
“Well, class. The first thing I’d like to talk about is quantum physics. Some people might think quantum physics exists only in the mind, or can only be appreciated by big corporations: new car, faster plane, self-guided missile. I’m here to tell you first hand that in future everyone will be studying quantum physics. In fact, it will be the only thing Continue reading Science
