My roommate is driving me up the ding dong wall. Seriously? His kid. It’s his kid. The kid is at his house for so long and he always coming into my room to ask questions. Hey, Robert? Can I have a quarter? Hey, Robert? Can I have this pencil? Sure, yeah. Take it kid. Sorry your father isn’t giving you anything. The first day he got here his dad got him this really intense hair cut. It was like Neymar on the Brazilian National Football Team. I do love soccer. And he came barging in and was like I’m going to put a header into your goal. I was like, what goal? That’s my closet. Watch this header. And he threw the ball up in the air and totally dived across my couch and headed the ball in between my brand new, out of the cleaner, pressed shirts and into the closet! I said, does your dad take you to soccer camp or something? Anyway, if he’s not barging into my room and starting a sporting club it’s begging for my computer. He’s all about my ipad. He’s all about devices. He’s all about games! I said, sure you can borrow my ipad for a second. I got it back three hours later — I had shit to do for work — with at least seven different video games. Which was weird cause I didn’t give him the password, forgot that shit awhile ago, but he found it on one of my post-it-notes. Which was cool cause I finally got to download that talking app, and I spoke to my grandmother. She was so happy I called — apparently I had been neglecting her or some shit. Which is fucked up. Anyway, he’s finally leaving tomorrow and yo; about time! That’s what I’m saying! I couldn’t be happier. Get this kid out! Get his scooter, and his games, and his sporting shit, and his blueberry ice tea that have offered me, and his mint ice cream that he split with me, and the paintings he made, of me sitting on a bench in a forest with all these family like members, and we were all laughing and playing, and just having fun. Like laughing hard and having fun. Like when I wasn’t afraid of shit, and didn’t have deadlines, and people trying to hurt me and shit. Aw, fuck it. I’m gonna miss that little shit.