Morning Paper

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Union Market. A couple is leafing through a newspaper at the counter.
Man: We should check the Weekend Section.
Woman: Definitely.
Man: Hi, I’ll have a double americano.
Woman: Two please.
Barista: You got it. Are you going to buy that paper?
Man: Hm?
Barista: Are you going to purchase that?
Man: Ah, no. Just looking through it.
Barista: If you’re not going to buy it can you put it down.
Man: Okay.
Barista: Thanks.
Man: Sorry. Did you just say don’t touch the paper?
Barista: Yes. If you’re not going to buy it, customers don’t want their papers leafed through.
Woman: Forget about it.
Man: Is it me?
Woman: Who cares?
Man: Why would you choose to make this moment confrontational?
Barista: Excuse me?
Man: Why would you do that? It’s 8:15 in the morning.
Barista: I’m not making this confrontational.
Man: I’m literally touching this paper;
Barista: I’m not being confrontational.
Man: There’s no one here. I’m your only customer.
Barista: I understand that. I’m asking you to not ruffle the newspaper if you’re not going to purchase it.
Man: You don’t hear what I’m saying at all?
Barista: I’m not choosing to make this moment confrontational, I just don’t want you ruining the newspaper if you’re not going to buy it. Your coffee’s are ready.
Man: Okay—
Woman: Stop.
Man: That was confrontational—
Woman: Would you let it go?
Barista: How was that confrontational?
Man: Your dismissal of me — ‘your coffee’s are ready’ you can’t see that?
Barista: I’m not being confrontational, if you think I’m being confrontational than we can have a conversation about that.
Man: We are having a conversation about that.

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