Sometimes

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Hey,

I just want to let you know how much it meant for me to see you in the audience last night. It’s so funny cause I was just thinking of that song — our song — it came on in the dressing room, and it always makes me think of you.

I couldn’t believe it. What has it been like twelve years?? I was on stage. I was in the “love” scene. I leaned in to kiss, and I noticed a flicker in the crowd. Whoa, I just thought of this— is it still weird for you… when you see me kiss someone?

I remember how we used to go the movies on the lower east side, and I’d randomly bump into someone I knew from the Studio, and we’d stop and say hello, and they’d always hug — actors love to hug — and you’d always become unusually still and somehow wind up saying something that made everyone a little uncomfortable.

“So good to see you!”
“So good to see you! I’m working on a new play, I need you in the role of Kevin. You’d be amazing.”
“He doesn’t play roles with names like Kevin.”
“What’s that?”
“She’s kidding. See you.”
“Bye!”

I thought you moved to Trinidad. Last I heard, you packed a bag and left the city to find yourself, and found yourself on a beach helping children learn English. You had a high paying job at JP Morgan (you finance wizard) and then boom! you left town. I only knew you were gone because I didn’t see you at the gym anymore. Or, the morning commute on the F train. Or the Barnes and Noble on fourteenth. Or, at John’s Pizza. Or, outside my apartment building on 49th staring up at the West side as if you were going to make it rain.

The card also was a really nice touch, and the flowers, or flower, I should say. I didn’t know they made black roses. I had to go home and look up what it meant. You were always so keen on knowing about plants and animals. What did you do with Max, by the way? We got him together and, since the break up — I thought I was going to keep him. That was confusing — did you still have keys to my apartment? The house was a mess, and all my papers were everywhere, and the writing from my eyeliner covered the mirror — it was just a lot of cleaning up — and no dog.

Sorry, you couldn’t stay and chat. Would have been nice to catch up. If you are going to come back though — turn off your cell phone. Please. I know that song, and I know it was coming from your phone. I will have to tell the stage manager not to let you in the building.

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