A grocery store. A woman in a motorized shopping cart.
What’s that? (I can’t get this thing to turn. Why do I go shopping by myself. Why don’t I have children. Why is it that Agnes couldn’t walk ten minutes out of her way to meet me at the Harris Teeter to grab a basket full of groceries. I’m stuck. Fuck. God, get me out of this elevator and I’ll believe in you.)
Be careful, I’m right behind you.
What are you doing?
Selling wine.
Oh. (I don’t know why grocery stores have wine tastings. I have never enjoyed a bottle of Continue reading Help →
The person I want to see lives in an area where the chances of me running into him at a bank, coffee shop, or local bowling alley are absurdly impossible.
The improbability is such that I no longer have to look up when I’m reading on the subway. I don’t Continue reading The Person I Want to See →
Morning. Man calls Tom.
Hey, Tom?
Yeah.
How are you?
Good.
I’m in a bit of a fix, and I’m wondering if you can help me?
I’m sorry. Who’s this?
Sorry. It’s Brian. I used to work with you over at The Lennox?
Yeah.
Do you still work there?
That was five years ago.
Okay. I wasn’t sure if you worked Continue reading Call Your Enemies →
Elan Zafir’s misemployment of the run-on sentence
