How excited can you be?


I looked in my fridge and to my dismay.. THERE WAS NO HUMMUS! Thankfully, I purchased a can of chickpeas earlier in the day and because I am sooo wild, I purchased a tub of tahina a few weeks ago. I ran out of olive oil, but no sweat.. I just used avocado oil.

Why did I come across this comment? Written in this way? How lucky am I to have met someone like you, when all I was looking for was a recipe for hummus. I didn’t know avocado oil existed. In fact, I’m still not sure it exists. I have an inclination to think you are lying. Why? Because you put “there was no hummus” in all caps letters. Do you know what that does to me when I’m taking a small break from writing an hour-long presentation on Henry of Monmouth, also know as Prince of Wales, also known as Henry V, and most famously known as ‘Hal?’ DO YOU? Hopefully, you reading this will get an idea of how I felt. Just like i got an idea, of how you felt.

THERE WAS NO HUMMUS! I see you in front of your fridge with a bag of carrots in your left hand now, mid-air, dropping to the floor; your eyes going back into your head—showing only the white; the sound of a laugh track from a re-run of Third Rock erupts into high gear, as you pull your head back like a chicken and cluck while stamping your foot.

That’s on you. That’s what your caps did to me.

Please, let’s leave our feelings out of facts. They muddy it. They slant it. They get in the way of what is true, I am sorry to confuse you with the facts but the recipe did not call for avocado oil which does not exist (yet) in my mind. I should thank you. But, I’m not. I am going back to Henry of Monmouth.

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