I Drink Tea

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I drink tea every night
Before I go bed,
To help me remember
The things in my head:
That need sorting out, or need a little breath,
Or, space to coagulate and find it’s own death.

I drink tea every night to forget about her,
To forget about the run, and that crash, and that blur.

I have tea so I can think,
So I can shut out that voice;
Sent pins through my spine,
While I sat with no choice.

I drink tea every night because if not, I’ll think of him,
And how much I owe, and what part of me he’s in.

I drink tea every night
Cause I’m crumbling apart.
And if I can’t get what I want,
Least the cup goes to my mouth.

I drink tea so I can go
Away from all that’s me.
So I don’t have to be reminded
It’s not enough to be free.

I drink tea cause I’m scared,
Cause I don’t want to be King,
And I don’t to marry,
And I don’t want to sing.

I drink tea to forget
The grotesque in the world:
The 30,000 in a fire;
The 28 in a school.

I drink tea cause I puzzle,
And I don’t know where to look.
And I force myself to read,
But not reading the book.

I drink tea cause I’m lonely,
And nobody understands,
And I do hate to suffer,
So I put warm things in my hand.

I drink tea cause I’m a phony:
I’m a lying, cheating, devil.
And the more tea you give me
The less I will settle.

I drink tea cause it’s hot,
And cause I’m so far away,
So tea brings me closer
To tomorrow and the day.

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