Zombies in Heaven: a scary-tale

The haunted fires of hell were burning bright.  Angels, hundreds and hundreds of angels lay dead on the ground. Blood dripping red from their ears. From their mouths. All their teeth were missing as the zombies made their way to the White Castle of Prince Belvedere. 

The worst thing in the world had happened: Someone let a zombie into heaven. 

How the zombies had tricked the angels? One can only imagine. Some said, when approaching the gates of heaven, the angels (as they always do) asked, “You’re not a zombie, are you?” Now, if you lie, a trap door opens underneath you, and fire and brimstone and all the serpents of the sea come shooting up form the darkness and grab your legs, and hands, fists, and pull you down to the devil in hell. 

That’s what happened to that poor sweet boy Rafael, who once was said, “I am a zombie.” Then later said “I was only joking.” But it was too late. He was eaten like a pumpkin pie.

The zombies were swift! These were smart zombies! They could count to five hundred. They could read big boy books. They could color drawings without going over the lines. 

The angel asked, “You’re not zombies, are you?”

“We’re not zombies,” said the zombies. “We’re nice people looking for a slice of pizza.” 

The angels opened the gates and it was zombie night! They ate everyone’s brains, and hair, and ears, and they read all the books, and didn’t put them back on the shelves, they were demon zombies, who were very messy and rude.

What would heaven do??? 

But deep within the White Castle lay Prince Belvedere. He was the greatest Prince in all the land. Why was he so great? Because he had discipline. He had respect. And he had the ancient secrets of karate. He practiced his karate day and night.

“Hi-yah!” He would kick. “Hi-yah!” He would punch. “Hi-yah!” He would roll around like a dreidel. Though today he was tired. 

He was in his room with his pet dragon Elanor, and said, “No, I’m tired. I don’t want to practice karate today.”

Elanor, the fire breathing dragon of the White Castle said, “Some days you won’t feel like practicing, but you must.” 


Prince Belvedere was now talking to Elanor about drawing, and didn’t hear anything.


Prince Belvedere looked around. “Do you hear anything?” 

“Nope,” said the dragon.


“I could swear I hear something,” said the Prince.

“Keep doing your karate,” said the dragon.


“Okay that was definitely someone saying brains.” said Prince Belvedere. 

“Hm?” said the dragon, “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you I was wearing ear plugs. What did you say—”


Prince Belvedere and the dragon jumped up to the ceiling!

“What was that?” said the dragon

“I told you!” said Prince Belvedere.

“Sounded like someone said “brains,” said the dragon.

“I told you!” repeated the Prince. “And there’s only one thing that says ‘brains’ in that specific way.”

Do you know what it is?


Before anyone could take the next breath it was a zombie lightning flash! Zombies broke through the window, and began chewing on his bed. Zombies fell from the sky and chewed the carpet. Zombies were swimming in his bathtub and rose to the bathroom mirror, found the toothpaste, and squished it everywhere. 

Prince Belvedere acted fast! He karate chopped and kicked the zombies to the wall. Punched them to the floor. Kneed them to the walls. Pummeled them until they said, “No, more, Prince. No more!” 

I did it, thought Prince Belvedere. I did it. “I did it!” he said out loud. But heard nothing.


“”Bbbbbbrrrrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiinss,” said the dragon.

“Oh, no!!!” screamed the Prince, “They’ve turned my dragon into a dragon zombie!”

And Elanor, the strongest, most fierce, (and very handsome) dragon, crashed through a wall, reeled back his red, gold, and blue wings—crushing rocks all around him, and breathed fire zombies everywhere! Fire zombies? No one had every heard of fire zombies!? Everything they touched bursted into scorched flames. They touched the gardens, flame! They touched the zoo, flame! They touched the oceans, flame!

“Oh, no!” said the Prince. What would he do? What could he do against the fire zombies?! 

Then he woke! “Ah!” There was silence. “Hello?” The Prince was in his bed. His dragon was right beside him, lounging along the wall and up around the ceiling, in a deep and wonderful sleep. 

“Whew,” said Prince Belvedere, “Thank goodness it was only a dream.”

(Or, was it?)


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