Brooklyn, New York-More and more people on the subway have been covering their faces for a duration of more than three stops. This alarming epidemic is something of an enigma that has sprung on 2 and 3 trains, as well as 4 and 5 trains heading into Brooklyn.

“I’ve seen it,” said Lorraine Hampstead of Crown Heights. “It’s Continue reading Subway Riders Stricken With Inner Peace →

This letter is about a month in the making. I was sure I was going to write it then I thought better, and said ‘nah, you probably get thousands.’ Then I thought better again and decided ‘yeah, but you won’t get thousands like this, cause there’s only one of me, I’m an individual,’ and la da dee—here I am writing to Mark Rylance.

I had nowhere Continue reading (Mark Rylance) Please accept my invitation →

Marcus Aurelius was sitting in a horse carriage when he had an ingenious idea.

“Is it something that you feel?”

His Lieutenant looked down and out the window no longer wanting to make eye contact, but Marcus was unperturbed. The movement of the horse carriage lulled them along. The battle scars fresh on their faces, fatigue setting into the shallows of their bones; Marcus looked Continue reading Beach →

We have been discussing Japanese World History and it is incredible how these people have somehow transformed their nation into one of the richest and most influential while remaining on a [comparatively] tiny island.

If I lived on a tiny island I would make Continue reading The History of Procrastination →

I had the best body in the sauna today, because I was the only one in there.

I am okay with both of those things being true.

Meanwhile, you were so funny when you got your YMCA card. I can’t Continue reading Swim →

There were three people in the sauna today and out of all of them my body ranked third. The ranking system is based on whose body looks like it belongs in a magazine. The chinese man had the nicest body of us all. It looked like he worked out often and swam regularly. You could see Continue reading Day 4 →

I went into the sauna again. There were two men already sitting there when I arrived. One of them was big and dark and sat on the second level with his back to the wood and his long legs outstretched. The other sat hunched over, with his Continue reading My spin instructor →