I’m doing this for you

I’m doing this for you. Yes. Please put away cookie. Drop cookie, drop pretzel. This is for you, and it’s for the future. I don’t know what the future has, but I hope there’s me and I hope there’s you. Upfront. Me, I’m saying. I’m stubborn. Not stupidly stubborn. Heartfelt stubborn. I’m a good listener, but I justify everything (please tell me you’re the same). Oh, and I lie. I’m not a good listener. I can be, but I’m not. Not usually. I hear the words, and it’s not like I’m thinking of something to say—conjuring some brilliant retort—I just keep waiting for the hidden camera. I think it’s one big joke. Even when it’s not; Even when it’s serious. I also detach. I become detached. I don’t start detached. I become. Meaning I’m there, right? I’m in it. I’m there. I’m feeling it. Things are going great and WHAM I’m no longer there. I’m smiling but, floating. Going through the motions. Nodding my head. This is for you. You don’t have to decipher, explore, dissect—it’s for you and I hope you like it.

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