the lottery

Dear Elan Zafir,

We have received your application for the ING New York City Marathon 2011.

Your Runner Profile
Your entry number is ******9. Please include this number and your name in any correspondence pertaining to the marathon. To check your status, or to update/change your personal information, visit this website and enter the username and password that you created within the application. Correspondence may be sent to

Race Information
The lottery for all applicants will be held in mid-March. We will e-mail entrants and process their fees upon acceptance.

For more information about the ING New York City Marathon, please visit


Certificate of Health

So I’m in the process of getting my Food Protection Certificate, and was on the subject of Pest Control and this fragment of a sentence struck me, “They prefer warm temperatures and do not tolerate cold temperatures… and may move outdoors into yards during warm weather,” and thought “yeah, they’re like me. They move outdoors into the yard during warm weather.”

These of course are American cockroaches.

Guy Hooper

A “taped” audition for a Spec Commercial being shot in January.

Role 1: Guy Hooper
Male/ Cauc./ 35-45/ Has the looks of a Vin Diesel meets Ego Maniac Paul Bunyan type. (Does not need to be bald, beard preferred but can be grown in time for shoot). Talent needs to portray an egomaniac to comical proportions. Character is vain mountain-climbing adventurer with little to no respect to people or nature.

is what I had to go on. This could very well be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, in the shortest amount of time.