I just came back from a two-week excursion in Peru, five days of which was left into the hands of United Mice—The Deep Peru Expedition: Salkantay to Machu Picchu.
The reason I’m posting this is simple. When I planned my trip I felt somewhat in the dark and would have truly appreciated someone telling me what the f*ck was going on, so without further adieu.
Some things I want you to know about me:
1. I was just like you—I wanted to go to Machu Picchu but didn’t book five months in advance and was forced to book an alternate route.
2. My only knowledge of tour groups was online research, friends of friends, and Lonely Planet/Fromers/Rough Guide books.
3. I exercise regularly but had very little experience hiking.
4. I didn’t want to die.
5. I didn’t want to get scammed out of money.
6. I am not affiliated with any tour group of any kind; I am a person with a child, and a girlfriend, who hates his job (like most self-respecting Americans). Continue reading Is United Mice a good company?
Marcus Darwell played with the sugar pot. He had this game where he lifted the top of the pot and dropped it back down so it fit snugly into its mold. When he acheived a perfect landing, he’d drop the top from a higher point. He was doing pretty well; all things considered. The pot was old. It had lines along the grooves like wrinkles. Me and the sugar pot. He wondered how the lines got on the sugar pot. Water? Too many wash cycles? Pets, different owners, careless children. Continue reading The Deal
It was huge. It was biting and snapping at this little girl who I thought at first was my son but turned out later to be my daughter. I kept kicking the snake; picking it up in my hands, by its neck; squeezing the very life out. It’s deranged mouth viciously separated by long rows of teeth. It’s breath like hot mildew; I threw it to the ground, and holding my daughter, ran behind the door shutting it quickly. But that wasn’t enough. It was never enough. Continue reading Snakes, a girl, a test, a boat, and Newton’s three laws of motion
The thirty dollars each to get to the beach. Plus, five dollar entrance fee. So my girl and I wound up paying a grand total of seventy dollars to get to the f*cking beach. The train was pleasant. Beaches were nice: soft sand, families. Everyone seems big. No? Yeah. Fatter, except, happier. We Continue reading They forgot to mention
What makes you think you’re up for the challenge of surviving alone in the wilderness?
I feel like I’m up to the challenge because I’m fit. I box. I eat well. I just finished hiking the Inca trail to Machu Picchu and stood at an altitude over 16,000ft. As well, I like the ladies. I always have time for the ladies. Seriously. Unless I’ve got to get to the top first. Then I don’t have time. I can’t make time if I’m going to lose time. Unless we’re a team. I will help someone who is down. On the Inca trail, one of our guides took a bad step and his water bottle popped out and began descending down the edge of a mountain and I dove and grabbed it. I saved the life of his water bottle. He thanked me the whole time, but I only did what was right. I’m a hero.