Happy and sad

Rafael locked eyes and he covered his face with his hand toward my eyes so I wouldn’t see him (or so he wouldn’t see me), then came to the middle of the stairs and stopped.

I was behind the door that needed to be buzzed and banged his apple juice against the glass as a war cry or drum medley or just wanting to smash the thing that separated him from me.

She walked down the remaining five steps, put him on the floor as he started to run and stopped again to cover his eyes and began walking slow with his eyes covered, half blinking, half peeking, and I wanted to die.

Out of the door straight into my arms. No talking. No peeking. We stayed like that for seven hours- but it felt shorter. I stood and he wrapped his legs around me and held my neck and buried his face in my neck and I became paralyzed and took flight at the same time or maybe he just made me disappear.

I woke up from a dream where you know all the places but none of the people and can’t help but feeling ‘at home’ with strangers. I was happy cause I didn’t realize how much I missed him and sad cause I didn’t realize how much he missed me.

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