Destroy the Mona Lisa

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I have no idea why people want to destroy the Mona Lisa but I saw this movie about Jackson Pollack, and Ed Harris was playing the main character and in the very beginning of the film he’s spitting drunk and [barely] going up the winding staircase to his apartment and he is so soused but somehow summons the wherewithal to scream at the top of his lungs “Fuck Picasso.”

I understood the moment as jealousy. At the unfair life Mr. Pollack had so far encountered, compared to the blessed life Picasso was having. He was angry Continue reading Destroy the Mona Lisa

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I had sex with a man

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I had sex with a man. At least, I thought she was a man.

No, she doesn’t dress like one but her house is just like a guys: dirty, grungy, things misplaced. She had this incredible African Grey Parrot named Elixir that spoke Latin. Do you know what was more impressive? The fact that I was having sex with a man.

She’s got great legs and is very pretty and sits exactly the way a woman sits in a dress that looks exactly like a dress a woman would wear.

I spent four hours thinking she was a man. She still might be. The only reason I stopped thinking she was a man, was because I thought, “God. I mean, that’s so much work. You gotta really want it. To have to get the right parts and the surgery, the name changing and uhhh, that is a lot of organizing and getting shit done.” Finally Continue reading I had sex with a man

Happy and sad

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Rafael locked eyes and he covered his face with his hand toward my eyes so I wouldn’t see him (or so he wouldn’t see me), then came to the middle of the stairs and stopped.

I was behind the door that needed to be buzzed and banged his apple juice against the glass as a war cry or drum medley or just wanting to smash the thing that separated him from me.

She walked down the remaining five steps, put him on the floor as he started to run and stopped again to cover his eyes and Continue reading Happy and sad

You were supposed to fall in love

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You took my heart.

I’m talking to you Miss 3 train 72nd street stop downtown bound sitting on the north side of the car between man in grey suit and woman with big arms.

If I were the man you were supposed to fall in love with, I’d be talking to you right now instead of writing this. I would have said, “Are you kidding?” and you’d have said, “Why do I feel like I know you?” and I’d have said, “You do know me,” and you’d have said, “From where?” and I’d have said, “You don’t really know me. I just meant that I feel like I know you,” and you’d have said, “Sit,” and I’d have said, “Yes.”
Continue reading You were supposed to fall in love

Why does god hate (me)

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What happens when you have a child and that child’s mom moves in with another man and they are very happy together and the father of the child is happy for his baby’s mama and the father’s even happy there’s another man to make the baby’s mama even happier and then out of nowhere or maybe so slowly you don’t see it coming your child begins to resemble the new guy.

“Oops! Cut it a little too short. Gee it does look like Tim’s. Ha, ha. How funny.”

But something happened. A tone has been set. Now the most horrifying experience a father can undergo is about to take place. Your son, may wind up, a hipster.
Continue reading Why does god hate (me)