Stretched thin

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The day I moved out of the house, I put all my books in boxes, my clothes in bags, brought them down five flights of stairs before bringing them to the curb outside and into a taxi.

I pretended to be a flagrant playboy whose wife had kicked him out of the house for cheating.

Me: Hi. 14th and Third ave.
Him: You got it.
Me: Thanks. Moving a lot of stuff.
Pause
Me: My girlfriend. She kicked me out.
Him: Oh, boy.
Me: I like black girls.
Him: Me too.
Me: I eat em up. I had two of them.
Him: In your home?
Me: In the crib.
Him: You have a child?
Me: Yeah…
Him: In your babies crib or you mean, crib is your house?
Me: The babies crib.
Him: No good, man.
Me: I’m bad.
Him: She caught you.
Me: She came to say good night.
Him: You were with baby?
Me: There was five of us. It was crazy.

Trip #2….
Him: Where to?
Me: 14th and Third ave.
Beat
Me: Yup. Movin.
Him: Ok. That’s good.
Me: My girlfriend kicked me out. I like em big.
Him: Oh shit. You like big girls.
Me: Can’t get enough.
Him: She caught you.
Me: Yeah, she caught me. We got a kid.
Him: Oh, it’s no good for kid.
Me: Well, it’s better than us fighting all the time right in front of him.
Him: Yes, that’s true. She gonna take your money.
Pause
Me: Well I’m gonna give it to her, she’s taking me to child suport enforcement.
Him: Don’t let her.
Me: Don’t let her?
Him: Deal with her privately.
Me: We can’t. We don’t agree.
Him: Pay her.
Me: I’m gonna pay her.
Him: No, pay her not to go. You don’t understand. I have a friend, drives a cab, same thing with him. He can’t go nowhere. He’s broke. Five kids.
Me: Five? What was he thinking?
Him: My wife tried that with me. I said “no.”
Me: Oh, you told her, “no,” that worked?
Him: She said, “I’m gonna get, you know, percentage of your income,” I said, “Good, I’ll work in a field my whole life, they don’t give checks in a field, now you gonna get nothing.” She understood, backed off. I buy my kid whatever he wants.

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Today, or a dad going to pieces

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Today is my day with rafael.
I enjoy playing with him more these days.

He used to be a chore,
when he’d whine and complain

and now we talk more easily.

Since i’ve gone,
he’s a better listener.

He’ll play on the green tire,
won’t let me share.

His diet is still the pits,
a cornucopia of hamburger and french fries.

Sometimes I think he’s behind me when he isn’t.

Child Support Enforcement

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Doesn’t that sound like a real fun place to spend a Saturday?

And on the website, there’s a picture of a young boy and his mother, smiling, running into the ocean, kicking up sand and surf. But if you look a bit closer; just tilt the camera to the left, you ‘ll see that they’re running over the body of the father and kicking up dimes and nickels.

Gliding through the website in happy, happy, glee-like rapture, I found this lovely thread…

Paternity Establishment
When a child is born to unmarried parents, the child has no legal father. Paternity must be established before child support or medical support can be obtained.

Wonderful. Turns out I’m not a father.

Now what kind of a story do I want my child to tell when he’s my age.

“My father left the house when I was two, and because he and my mom were never married, she couldn’t get child support; So technically, he wasn’t my father and more importantly he got out of paying my mom a dime. If I ever see that piece of shit, I’ll punch him in his face.”

Or…..

“My father left the house when I was two, and because he and my mom were never married, she couldn’t get child support; So technically, he wasn’t my father and didn’t have to give my mom any money. But he filled out the form, they enforced an amount that was more than he could afford and every cent he ever worked for was handed over to my mother, leaving him a bitter, angry, failure.”

Well, at least there’s a good side to all this.

Sychronicity

I went to begin my spanish class at the Queen Sofia Institue and found out my class had been cancelled.

There was a looking for papers, a series of mouth twitches, a scanning of computers all culminating with, “I’m so sorry.”

There, I met a teacher who told me about a book by Jorge Luis Borges. A story in particular called The Circular Ruins.

This morning, I sat in a tiny coffee shop, looked to my left, saw fourteen books for sale, one of them being an Anthology of fiction by Borges.

Milquetoast

Is the name of a film I shot two weeks ago. It is nowhere near finished and I’m not even sure I’m permitted to put this on my website without the permission of the director, but it’s only the first scene and only a medium shot of the first scene without any close-up’s, so it’s not like this is going to end up in the film anyway.

Plus I’m excitable, and like the performance of the other guy, too.