It’s either cause you’re too tired or there’s not much energy in you, but the normal stuff you say just doesn’t come out right. Also, looking back it’s not normal stuff you’re saying to the check-out girl at Dagostino’s…
Her: You have a Dag card?
Me: No, I can use a phone number, right?
Her: Go ahead.
Me: Look don’t memorize it, ok. I have a girlfriend.
Her: Go ahead.
Or the super in your building…
Super: I keep telling ya. Ya gotta put the newspapers in the recycling bin.
Me: I think other people want to read it when I’m done so I leave it on the radiator.
Super: Radiator get hot, you burn down the whole building. Where you gonna sleep?
Me: With you.
Me: No, you’re underneath… you’re apartment.
Super: What you saying?
Me: No, your apartment is below, so the fire wouldn’t spread there.
Super: Why you said that?
Or the Korean who does your laundry…
Korean: It eleven-ten.
Me: Eleven ten? What am I buying them from you or picking up my laundry?
Me: I’m saying it’s expensive, it’s like you’re charging me for new clothing.
The nanny of this kid you always see at the neighborhood indoor playground…
Me: He’s really cute this kid. I always imagine which one of these kids looked more or less like me, when I was this age and this kid’s the one.
Nanny: Oh, yeah? I can see that. With your curly hair.
Me: It’s the curly hair but it’s also the look in his eye. He’s quiet, shy, but you can tell he wants more from this world. More than his parents can give him.
Nanny: Yeah, he’s-he’s teething right now.
Me: He’s outgrown you at 18 months.
Nanny: (facing the other direction) He’s a big boy.
Me: Let me know when you’re gonna change his diaper.
If you look closely you’re trying to hard. Probably due to the lack of energy.