I can feel myself getting fatter

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Tonya says it’s bullshit but I am on to her nice-ness. I am eating anything and everything at any time of the day I choose. I have not fed this way since my travails in Europe. In Hungary, I fucked up every pastry shop in the Pest district. In Vienna, I went to a sausage party at an outdoor skating rink and ate bratwurst. Just this week in Miami, I ate dulce de leche mini cakes and now that I’m back home Tonya left me with this Vermont special butter. It’s special because it tastes so good you don’t realize you’re getting fatter.

But I know… You can’t outsmart me butter.

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