From a car

My kid can peel stickers, put keys in a door, sit himself in time out when he knows he did something objectionable to house rules, says “helicopter” and “broccoli” with near perfection.

We have this ritual of me putting him flat on the bed then I say “Whhoooooop,” where my voice goes in an upward inflection as if it’s a slide whistle and my arms go circular and up as if I’m about to leap off a high dive, then I say “Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh” as I come crashing down on his face, lips first, planting a thousand little kisses on his cheeks and ear. Star Trek-like, we wrestle, his hands pushing against mine as if it’s a game of ‘mercy’ (to the death), and I say, “Ow!” and rub my cheek as if he hurt me, then “Whoooooooop!” all over again.

I have introduced several variations to this maneuver. Sometimes I go “Ow” and rub the tip of my nose, indicating he wounded me in a different spot. Sometimes I do the “Whoooooop,” in a lower register and make my hands more pronounced as if instead of an 8th grader on his Jr. High swim team, I’m now a Chinese diver going for the gold in Beijing.

He has followed my variations and has incorporated one of his own.

When I go “Ow” and go into my “Whooooooop” he arches his back like some yoga student and exposes his belly up in the air, only touching the ground with his hands and feet, his whole stomach arched to the air where I then come crashing down face first, try and bite his stomach, then planting a thousand little kisses on his cheeks and ear (he has two ears, I simply enjoy the economy of going from cheek to ear).

Now how exactly am I preparing him for the world?

One thought on “From a car”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s