My son is in Texas with his Mother right now and I miss him so much I want to kill myself. I don’t understand how he can live without me. I don’t understand why he hasn’t purchased a plane ticket online and called me from LaGuardia.
He is so beautiful. He is everything. I am lost without him. I walk around talking like him. I walk through my job mumbling all the non-words he uses. “Babiss.” What is “Babiss” you ask? Everything. The air conditioner, the fan, the book, the cat, the pancake. Babiss! He’s reduced me to nothing. I’m half a man sitting with an open New York Post in my hands a vacant look in my eyes and non words on the tip of my tongue. I see his picture and cry. Why he hasn’t stolen a car, purchased a cheap road map and made his way to at least Lousiana and called collect? I went to babiss today to do some laps and thought about him the whole time. He gets so cold when I first put him the water cause the babiss is not heated. I put babiss on his pale skin first, to make sure he doesn’t get sunburn. We saw the old lady in the black bathing suit who upon seeing Raf and I last year shouted, “That’s my baby!” across the pool. Which kind of got scary for a second as people believed me to be the kidnapper. I gave a soft laugh and wiggled my neck then sat down on my own towel wishing that crazy woman didn’t draw so much attention to my boy. He’s a cute fucker. There’s someone out there that’d like to steal him. Just know. I am willing to trade my life for his. So if you come near my son with intentions of taking him away from me, I will fucking murder you. I will spend my life murdering you. That’s probably not a spiritually enlightening way to end this note so just don’t steal my kid.