“I’ve abandoned my boy.”

My son is in Texas with his Mother right now and I miss him so much I want to kill myself. I don’t understand how he can live without me. I don’t understand why he hasn’t purchased a plane ticket online and called me from LaGuardia.

He is so beautiful. He is everything. I am lost without him. I walk around talking like him. I walk through my job mumbling all the non-words he uses. “Babiss.” What is “Babiss” you ask? Everything. The air conditioner, the fan, the book, the cat, the pancake. Babiss! He’s reduced me to nothing. I’m half a man sitting with an open New York Post in my hands a vacant look in my eyes and non words on the tip of my tongue. I seeĀ his picture and cry. Why he hasn’t stolen a car, purchased a cheap road map and made his way to at least Lousiana and called collect? I went to babiss today to do some laps and thought about him the whole time. He gets so cold when I first put him the water cause the babiss is not heated. I put babiss on his pale skin first, to make sure he doesn’t get sunburn. We saw the old lady in the black bathing suit who upon seeing Raf and I last year shouted, “That’s my baby!” across the pool. Which kind of got scary for a second as people believed me to be the kidnapper. I gave a soft laugh and wiggled my neck then sat down on my own towel wishing that crazy woman didn’t draw so much attention to my boy. He’s a cute fucker. There’s someone out there that’d like to steal him. Just know. I am willing to trade my life for his. So if you come near my son with intentions of taking him away from me, I will fucking murder you. I will spend my life murdering you. That’s probably not a spiritually enlightening way to end this note so just don’t steal my kid.

One thought on ““I’ve abandoned my boy.””

  1. we walked all the way to HEB today in the rain with wally, raf in the sling helping me carry the umbrella. i fed him 3 jellybeans (babiss) from the pocket in the sling and on the way home we talked about the pizza (babiss) that was waiting there for him. he ate two slices and then some watermelon.

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