Things I can’t afford to Want…

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My dreams are boring

Argentine Jazz composer, Guillermo Klein, performing Coco.

For the second night in a row my dreams have been about mundane shit happening in and around Canada. It’s fleeting away as we speak so I’ll jot down everything I can remember and make sense out of it in a second….

42nd street was a huge wide open space where people walked and there were no cars and it was snowing.

I found a ten speed bike that was dirty-silver in color.

My child got tangled in a swing.

I almost screamed out loud in order to get off the phone with my father.

My Bubby wanted me to fix her radio so she could listen to a certain song.

I met this child, who seemed to be a family member, his bed was in the shape of a tilted road, room was immaculate, he asked me to put his toys back where I found them, he asked me to make him a cd.

I had to kill these three people that had a superpower of invulnerability. 

A man with an arrow in his back took a knife and cut off the arrow.

I ordered Mc Donalds for lunch, two cheeseburger special for me, quarter pounder with cheese for Tonya.

A woman was getting berated by two men from England. One was being funny the other was being a douche. She thanked me for intervening. Continue reading My dreams are boring


Unlike, for example, the 2007 Wimbledon final—filled with artistry and grit from both players until Federer won in five sets—only Nadal played with elan Sunday.

Associated Press Tennis Magazine June 2008 on Rafael Nadal’s win over Roger Federer in the French Open.

It is funny to see my name (Elan) then the word “Sunday.” Cause in the sentence it reads that I played with Rafael Nadal on Sunday. My son’s name is Rafael. I did play with Rafael on Sunday. I’m the only one in the world that finds this amusing.
I’m looking for pictures of Mats Wilander, a former World #1 Tennis player. I’m told I look like him. I found some pictures but aren’t sure how to put them on the site without a link so here’s an interview. I edited some of the article to get to the point of the man’s character. He’s smart, incisive, curt and enjoys watching Faulty Towers….

Continue reading Tennis


I am going on a vacation with my brother and father. We haven’t been away together since a camping trip circa 1983. I was 7, my brother 10 and he was deathly afraid of bees. We were in a camp ground where we had spent the night in a tent my dad pitched. We walked to the common ground area to get some water and play “catch.” My Dad, lit a cigarette and began a conversation with some other Dad and his daughter while my brother and I threw the ball around and I see my brother’s eyes widen as I throw him the ball, he’s pointing and stuttering “Buh, Buh, Buh,” as the ball bounces off his chest. I say, “I’m not scared of bee’s,” and I turn around just in time for my brother to get out the word, “Bear.”
A brown bear walked through the common area, over the picnic table to where a garbage can was. Opened the top of the garbage can, looked over at us (my brother and I frozen. Out of my peripheral people running to and fro), and dug his head inside the bin so all you saw was the body of a bear with a garbage can for a head.
My Father also hit a baby cub with his van. The cub ran out into the road, my father didn’t see him coming. He did it right in front of the forest ranger. The ranger looked pissed but it was hardly my dad’s fault.


I think there’s glitter in my new frizz ease after-shower hair product. I spent 28 dollars so… I’ll be wearing glitter till it runs out. Other than that it works really well. I’m still losing my hair but the remaining strands are curled in a silky way I’ve never experienced. I saw JUNO the other day. The music is great. The moments of her sitting outside Bleeks house with carpet, the chair, pipe, lamp, night table are stuck in my head. When she races Bleeks Mother up the stairs then closes the door in her face. Bleek winning the race realizing Juno’s not there and probably having the baby, then runs up the bleeker steps. Great screenplay.