Happy Valentines Day

valentines dayFrom my son. I also took him to Mexico, Miami, the beach, the movies, the Children’s Museum, Central Park, but the card’s small so it’s ok. I did correct his tenses though; can’t start too early.  Some people are very caught up in making sure their child is the smartest one on the block. I saw a book the other day that read…”Einstein Didn’t Use Flash Cards.” Which is surprising to me because he’s so damn smart. Nonetheless, there is one less, lame-ass thing, I can pass on to my son.  I remember visiting my father in some remote town in South Florida. I was so young I barely remember if he was living in this place or just staying there for the weekend but I was with my older brother and good ol’ dad forced me to go over and over, all these words for a spelling bee. Nine or so stapled pieces of paper. A hundred words on every page. This was how I spent my Saturday or Sunday or whatever day my Dad was allotted to see us. What a waste of time. I would have learned a lot more watching him smoke cigarettes. Which I also did. I learned  more when he left me in the car to run into the bank and left his Abbot and Costello tapes in the tape deck. Too bad though. I think of how different my life would have been if I’d have won that 1st grade spelling bee. I could have sat in the front seat in class. I could have been president of student council.  i could have gotten into Yale. I could have slept with all sorts of sorority girls from Alpha, Beta, Kai Sigma, (I think those are actually frats (boys) and not sorority (girls) but I am out of the loop). I was never in a fraternity. Didn’t have time in college because I was living with my grandmother. That’s right girls. I can play gin-rummy, and re-use the same tea-bag of orange pekoe for five hours straight (See what sort of attention that information will get you on Match.Com). Never minded much, not being in a fraternity. Sorority though. That is more my speed. I could definitely see myself in a sorority. Doing the dishes. Making soft boiled eggs. Getting fresh bread from the farmers market. Grind up coffee beans for late night study sessions. Cut up onions, bell peppers, slice up some Paris-ham and listen to girl talk. Guy problems, Math problems, parental issues. Of course I’d have to go back and be my age now (31). If I go back to when I was 18, that’s kind of pointless. I was a bungling court jester, creepy, and not entirely comfortable in my own skin. All I’d be thinking during morning coffee would be, When will they ask me for a massage. Gotta be soon.  


I signed up for this indoor space near the apartment where i live, it’s called apple seeds. The two people that gave me my card while i was leaving were named Tom and Sara. Those are the names of my parents. I thought that was strange. as soon as i said it, they hugged. The guy, initiated the hug which means he’s more spontaneous. but the girl shivered under his touch which might mean she thought of hugging too, but didn’t want to send the wrong message to Tom.

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