Wanted: Lover of Chocolate

 spaghettiCame across this ad last night; seemed like a worthy cause, wanted to be of service.

I figured Craigslist was as good a place as any to post an ad like this so here goes. I had a boyfriend for three years or, if I listen to him, two years, and one where he got to f*ck me for fun. Let me get right to the point. I am feeling sad. I am feeling hurt. I am feeling confused. I’m not angry, I broke enough of his belongings to curb that portion of my emotion. I want someone, preferrably a guy (just so I don’t end up hating men all because of one scared and ambitious {with your cock} little prick), to meet me at the Buttercup Bakery on 2nd Ave and 51st on the West side of the street. Let’s meet there, and fuck  up some red-velvet cupcakes. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to listen. I want to eat chocolate and peanut butter cake with ice cold milk till I have the biggest stomach ache in the world. Be with me during this orgy of food. I can’t do it alone. I need you there. If you’re out there, email me the date and time you can meet. Oh, and wear a red hat so I know it’s you.-celerystick230@hotmail.com  

Good luck, celerystick. Where ever you are.

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