Day 2

IMG_2149It was hot. Tried to convince myself, while putting on shorts, I could skip today. Felt something unpleasant happen in my left calf and I thought “Pain is inevitable; suffering is not.”

Halfway through I concluded that I’m much stronger in a short amount of time. “Yesterday was my first 3 mile run in months. Now it looks like 3 miles will be the standard.” Then I felt fatigued, and pressed on, wincing and wondering when the pain in my left calf would go away.

Sitting on the couch typing this… it’s still there.

Day 1

IMG_2127 Good.

I’m not setting out to accomplish any goals. I am merely putting forth an idea. The idea is person of the earth who gives a shit. In the words of much tougher and brighter men than myself, it’s ungentlemanly to go on about this diet, and that workout, and this exercise, and what I’m avoiding, supplementing, and calculating based on hours of sleep.

I think I can do this, and even if I can’t—no one gets hurt. Not even me.

I tried to remember a dream as I ran through the park. The only thing I remember is speaking to a woman who wanted to giver her boyfriend a poem for his birthday. She showed me what she had, and it was in another language. It was messy. I told her I would set about to write a poem for her. I asked her for two words. For the life of me I can’t remember what they were.

Made You Ugly

Photo on 9-23-15 at 5.36 PMFactory 449: a theatre collective



Kennedy Center’s PAGE-TO-STAGE Festival

Performed by ELAN ZAFIR

Directed by Helen Hayes Award winner
& Factory 449 company member RICK HAMMERLY
One man’s relationship with love, failure and the fight to connect. A father’s exploration of sex, death, science fair projects and the Holocaust…of fast cars, bedtime stories, Neil Sedaka, losing everything you love, and the unpaved road back to that little boy you call “son.”

SEPTEMBER 5, 2016 at 8:30 PM

Pool Rules

I have been practicing new techniques.
I have been in the pool swimming laps.
When the lifeguard blows the whistle fot “Adult Swim”
I head over to the free swim area;
I practice Ninja Gaiden maneuvers.
I have a new fighting style:
It combines speed with bendable flexibility.
I have a move I call the Detonator.
I put my hands in the water
Pretend like I’m doing a handstand
Then drop the full weight of my body
Onto the area of water in front of you
Temporarily blinding you
Then I turn my fist into a knife hand
Stabbing you in the stomach.


Nooo. No. I won’t do it. I can’t.
Your face. Ahh! Why pretend? Why sit here with coffee, something I enjoy, and pretend?
What is it with my face?
It’s not good.
It’s not?
Your voice! Ah! Have you always spoken like that? Oh, shit.
Let’s just sit down—
You stuttered. Is that an impediment? You’re “slow” right?
Sit down for one second.
Let’s chat. Get to know me. How important Continue reading J-Date

Elan Zafir’s misemployment of the run-on sentence


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