Teacher

People ask me all the time.

“Elan, how do you teach acting?”
“What is the process like for you?”
“How do you do it?”

To them I say… “You need The Elan Method. Starstruck and Wonderlust: a Guide to Lying From the Heart.”

The Elan Method of acting is something I’ve been working on for over 28 years. It’s hard tested, battle proven.

“Elan, I have an audition tomorrow, and I’m really nervous. I want the role so bad! I can’t think. My boyfriend is talking to me, and I’m running lines. Running lines in my head! I can’t concentrate? What do I do?”

Dump his ass. You heard. Break up with your boyfriend. Make it public. Restaurants are good, Starbucks, any Trader
Continue reading Teacher

Musical Theatre & Theatre: the difference #47

I think I now understand how the term Diva came to pass.

Yes “Diva” can include a multitude of occupations. A plumber can be a diva, a nurse, a rock climber. But I now have a deep knowledge of how the mind of a diva is formed in musical theatre, and that nothing like that could ever happen in theatre.

(When I say “theatre” I mean non-musical plays.)

We did a sitzprobe yesterday. I had never heard the word till a week ago, learning that I would be involved in one. I went out bought a rifle, ten gallons of water, and as much canned food as I could carry… discovered it was “where we sing with the orchestra” and returned all that I had purchased (save for the water—that’s still useful).

When you hear Continue reading Musical Theatre & Theatre: the difference #47

The Unaccompanied Minor

I will be performing my solo show for the first time tonight. I am excited, scared, and confused. I don’t know what I’m going to wear. Or, if I’ll put on eye-liner. Or, just wear jeans and a t-shirt. Or, whether I’ll want a beer after. There are so many things I don’t know, but normally I’m not so amped about them. Today… with only four hours away I feel like a kid again.

I guess that’s good. I like kids. My kid gave me three pieces of advice for tonight.

  1. Make em laugh.
  2. If I get fearful, don’t look them in the eyes… look at the wall.
  3. Make them talk about me after/Make them remember me.

 

 

Dear God Don’t let me fail

TUM Poster 3.jpg

Oh, nothing. Just waited my entire life to do something like this, and it’s six weeks away. But who’s counting right?

Terrified. I am absolutely terrified.

I am going to share something I wrote on the first day I started to write what would become The Unaccompanied Minor. 

The exercise was to write down your hopes and fears. Then write down someone who wouldn’t have those fears. Or, if they would— how they would handle them. Then write a character monologue Continue reading Dear God Don’t let me fail

What’s new with Kate Mara

Kate, hi.
You don’t know me, but I want to marry you.
This is real, Kate. This…
Yes. This is the real thing.
I don’t know you. I have seen some of your TV work.
Your film work.
Doesn’t matter.
I don’t care.
I seriously want to marry you.
Now, I’m married, which does pose a bit of an issue.
I will have to talk to my wife.
I… not really sure how that’s going to go…
But, it’s the real thing Kate.
I thought a lot about what I’d write you.
How I could describe to you what was going on with me
And… Huge. Crush.
I am crushing on you.
I’m forty. Full disclosure.
I have a cat.
Just gave him a bit of catnip, and now it’s the old 3,2,1
“Don’t bit me you little shit. Ow. Seriously, that hurts.”
But it’s real.
I am crushing Continue reading What’s new with Kate Mara

Elan Zafir’s misemployment of the run-on sentence